|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
previous «
Humor 1,
2,
3
» next
|
Humor, A Laughing Matter!
This section is a collection of "public" jokes circulated via e-mails. Based on our assessments, they are deemed
to be of good taste and are decent and harmless in nature. If any of them inadvertently included here are
copyrighted materials, let us know and we will remove them from this site as soon as possible.
20 Signs that you've had too much of the 90's
- You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails
you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
- Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you
haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
- You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
- You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
- Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a
JPEG! file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
- You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
- Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the
price you paid.
- The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is
foreign to you.
- Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat
of your car.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
- You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
- Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
- Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
- You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
- You're reading this.
- Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.
|
Top 10 Ways Microsoft Would Change the Auto Business
- New seats would require everyone to have the same butt size.
- We would all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.
- The U.S. government would be forced to rebuild all of the roads for Microsoft cars;
they will drive on the old roads, but they run very slowly.
- The oil, alternator, gas and engine warning lights would be replaced by a single
'General Car Fault' warning light.
- Sun MotorSystems would make a car that was solar-powered, twice as reliable and five
times as fast, but would run on only 5% of the roads.
- You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.
- You could have only one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car98 or
CarNT -- but then you would have to buy ten more seats and a new engine.
- Occasionally, your car would die for no apparent reason and you would have to restart
it. Strangely, you would just accept this as normal.
- Every time the lines of the road were repainted, you would have to buy a new car.
- People would get excited about the new features of the latest Microsoft cars, forgetting
that these same features had been available from other car makers for years.
|
|
Suggestions? Comments? Or brickbats?
Mail to
|
|
|
|
|
