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Humor, A Laughing Matter!
Has been touted as a form of medication - scientifically. Eat well and laugh well to a healthy and fulfilling life.
Do you have a sense of humor? Well, if you can laugh at yourself, I think that means a yes! So, as the song goes
"Don't worry, be happy...." Laugh away your worries and be rejuvenated!
This section is a collection of "public" jokes circulated via e-mails. Based on our assessments, they are deemed
to be of good taste and are decent and harmless in nature. If any of them inadvertently included here are
copyrighted materials, let us know and we will remove them from this site as soon as possible.
Read on, laugh and enjoy!
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"I see dumb people...
...they're everywhere...
...they walk around like everyone else...
...they don't even know that they're dumb...
And...
Some of them...
...THEY WORK HERE!"
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Kid's Math Lessons
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch
is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
"What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher
taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
"What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition. Eg, two plus
two, the sum of which, is four."
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Italian Bread
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just
finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year
old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina
with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed
any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get to the 5th loaf it'll be hard?"
He replied, "Holy cow...! Everybody in the world knows about this Italian bread thing but ME....?!"
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Departmentalising Job Interviewees
How to determine and recruit the right person for the right chair in a company.
Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send the candidates
into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and call them back after 6 hours, and then analyse the
situation:
- If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.
- If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - PUT THEM IN THE ENGG. DEPT.
- If they are arranging the bricks in some other order - PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
- If they are throwing the bricks at each other - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
- If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
- If they have broken the bricks into pieces - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
- If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN HRD.
- If they have thrown the bricks out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
- If they are clinging onto the bricks - PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
- If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT CELL.
- If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.
- If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
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Work Smart!
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hardwork. His only son,
who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just
getting too old to be digging up garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you
would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad
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A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Son
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At 4am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without
finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another
letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Son
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The moral of the story: Work smart not hard. USE your brain, in the perceived impossible, sometimes it
can make the impossible possible.
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